Friday, December 30, 2011


Well it's over. It's been quite a surreal couple of days.

We ended up calling to talk to our regular nurse practitioner yesterday because we couldn't get the doubt out of our mind. She reassured me and had all of the right things to say. Based on the pictures she looked at, the baby measured right at 8 weeks and the sac measured 6w1d. She obviously couldn't tell anything about cardiac on the pic, but trusted the other NP. She did say that if it would make us feel better, we could ask for an ultrasound before the surgery to ease our minds. We thought about it all day and couldn't decide. That has been the theme of the last 2 days. No decisions. Max has been in charge of all of those.

Shortly after the hospital called to tell us what time to arrive, the main clinic office called to tell us our doctor wanted to do a follow up ultrasound before the surgery without us even asking. Thank you. Took the decision out of it. And showed me that he understood our position and was being conscientious.

So we did that this morning. We didn't expect to see anything different, but are glad we did it nonetheless. I was able to stay calm and understand everything on the screen. We were then able move forward with no doubt we were doing the right thing.

The d&c really wasn't that bad. Obviously I could still have bad cramping, but I also have pain meds. I cried several times through the process, and most of the nurses were very compassionate and understanding. Except for one. Oh well. When I woke up the first thing I remember was asking "Is it over?" The recovery nurse said "yes darlin it's over" and I burst into tears. (for those of you unfamiliar or surprised at the use of the word "darlin", welcome to the south).

All in all I'm doing ok. My mom went with me too and I'm so thankful. First she's been through this before. Second, she's my mom.

Thank you so much for all of the kind words and support. It means so much.


  1. I'm so, so sorry you had to go through this. I'm glad you your mom's support and that most of the professionals you dealt with we're supportive as well, but that doesn't make up for the loss of your precious little one. (((Hugs)))

  2. It broke my heart to read this. So sorry you are having to go through such difficulty. Praying for you both.

  3. I am so sorry!! My thoughts are with you!

  4. I'm completely broken up for reading this. I'm so sorry for the loss of your child. I wish I knew exactly what to say to comfort you during this time. Instead, please know that I'm thinking of you and sending love and light your way.