Sunday, March 11, 2012


I've got so many thoughts and things to talk about. But I don't have the time or the emotional stamina to get it done. I will settle for some short updates.

The appointment this week went well. It was interesting and I would like to write more about it soon. Everything looked good and I started letrozole yesterday. I'm not sure when i will hear from the antibodies testing. It may be a few days. I'm also stressed about the timing of the IUI as I have a work trip scheduled next week. All we can do is wait and see though.

Max and I are driving to Tennessee right now to see the baby. I'm pretty numb and indifferent about it right now. I don't know how I should feel. I'm exhausted after a work trip this weekend so I'm worried I will be extra emotional. I don't now. I can only be what I am. Make sense?

I need to write a post I've been thinking a lot about recently. About why I blog (promoted by a post by Unaffected).

Until I have time for a longer post., let me just say that the support I have gotten from all of you in the last week has been unreal. The emotions related to the birth of my niece have made me feel completely crazy. When I get a comment from someone that is full of empathy and void of judgment, I feel loved like I never have been before. You all have been my unconditionally loving family and my comforting and compassionate best friends. And I know this is horrible to say, but in a time that I am very angry at my God, you have provided the hope and peace that I can't seem to get from Him right now.

I'm trying to let this go and get over the dramatics, but I feel like my heart has been pierced so deeply. While I figure out how to move forward with my family, I feel so lucky to have you all on my side.


  1. Lady, I'm so impressed by your strength. I know how hard this visit is going to be for you. It's no one's fault, but it still sucks royal. Please be good to yourself during this time and remember that you're already being awesome just by making the trip; don't push yourself to do things that will only hurt you in the end. Granted, family may not understand it. But you and Max need to come first.

    Sending you so much love and light.

  2. You aren't alone. I am also trying to figure out how I feel and will react when my second nephew is born. I can only send you love and positive thoughts as you make this tough trip. I pray (in the way that I can) that you are filled with so much love that the pain will be dulled. I know how hard this is.
    Thinking of you and glad you are on your way to another cycle.

  3. Hearing what you were going through this week really touched me. We cannot switch off what is going on in our lives, and we have to feel what a situation makes us feel. I truly hope that the support you are able to get from this community continues to help. I am sending you massive hugs.

  4. Totally understandable. I'd be FURIOUS with God in your shoes.