Wednesday, April 4, 2012

working through

Literally. That's how I'm dealing with the negative. Working working working.

I've had a couple of terrible moments. Monday night I woke up in the middle of the night hysterically crying. I scared Max half to death. I couldn't stop. When I got up in the morning, I had mascara all over me. My face, my neck, my arms. And yes, you caught me. That means I don't wash my face at night. The While getting ready, I decided to start crying and cried for about an hour and a half straight.

But I've been a bit better since then. I should officially be cycle day 1 tomorrow morning which means moving forward. Excited about that.

I'm bummed I won't have a 2012 baby. Maybe a little more than bummed. What if the Mayans were right and the world ends? Aaagggghhh! But seriously. No 2012.

I'm sad for many of my blog friends right now too. This is a bunch of bullshit!

That's all.


  1. Ugh, I'm sorry Hattie. I agree, this is total bullshit. I'm trying not to let myself linger on the "no 2012 baby" thought, but it's so hard because I always set these stupid milestones for myself that I never reach.

    You are in my thoughts <3

  2. Gosh I know exactly how your feeling. I was wanting a 2012 baby so badly. All we can do is pick back up and keep moving forward. 2013 sounds like a great year to have a baby :)

  3. I like 13s better. =) You just made me realize that I'll have a 2013 baby if our IVF is successful. =)

    I'm sorry that the IUI wasn't successful. I wish I had more kind or comforting words to offer. I also won't try to give you some BS about how you should be trying to find the positive in the situation either. Just be. Praying for you, Hattie.

  4. I'm so sorry Hattie. I wish this wasn't the way it turned out. For any of us. I'm with unaffected: try not to focus on the "no baby in 2012." It will drive you crazy and dealing with all of this is hard enough.

    I'm hear if you want to talk. Let me know. And I'm keeping you in my heart.

  5. Just found your blog, so sorry to read about your IUI ending in sadness...hope cd1 can renew your hope...thinking of you