Friday, June 29, 2012

8 week ultrasound

The heartbeat continues! Relief.

The baby measured 8w5d, exactly where I am. And here's the other shoe. The sac measured 7w6d. Sarah, the NP, immediately felt the wind go out of us and quickly said that she wasn't worried. She said it's not even a week and not even enough to register as small. And that she promised she would tell us if we should be worried.

I can't say that I'm completely reassured. In fact, I'm pretty damn scared. But I know there's nothing we can do.

This was supposed to be my last appt, but during the video conference the RE offered me two more weeks. Of course that made me feel like she thought I needed extra monitoring, but she said it is because she knows I'm apprehensive and if we can then why not.

On to the positive. Sarah said the heartbeat was excellent (they don't do numbers) and spent a good amount of time showing us some specifics. She was able to point out a hand and a leg and even got the little squirt to move once. The change from the previous week was unreal. Max sorta freaked out because it looked like an actual baby.

I'm trying my hardest not to google in this long week leading to my next ultrasound. I can't believe I will be 9 weeks tomorrow. Wow!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

in the meantime

Things are still rolling along here. Work is crazy busy and I've been able to squeeze in some personal fun as well. We took a short beach trip this weekend and it really was amazing to just sit and relax and think about almost nothing.

I have to admit I was a bit preoccupied worrying about how the week would progress. Last week, 7w6d was the day of my previous heartbreaking ultrasound. That day was incredibly difficult, but following that I eased back in to being comfortable and confident. Even though something could still be wrong and I wouldn't know it.

My next appointment is tomorrow morning and it is also a video conference which means it may be my last at the fertility clinic. I wasn't ready to switch so early, but that's when they had to do the video conference with my doctor. I'm going to try to get them to let me come back for 2 more weeks. We'll see.

While I'm definitely anxious about tomorrow, I honestly can't wait to see how much half-o (what we call the baby, long story) has grown. I look at other 8 week pics and can't believe I might get to see that tomorrow.

That's all for now. Until tomorrow.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

7 week ultrasound

Things are still looking good. Strong heartbeat and good growth.

We actually gained a couple of days on my LMP. I was 7w3d. The baby is 7w1d and the sac is 7w2d. The doctor still assures me the fact that I am 2 days behind my LMP dating is just fine because of when we did the trigger. And last week it was 4 days behind, so good news.

I'm still a few days away from 7w6d...which was the day of bad news last time. Hoping I can make it through with relative calm. I will be at the beach after all. A short trip, but the beach nonetheless. Hoping to post a few more updates soon.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

6 week ultrasound

We have a heartbeat!

According to the NP, everything looked A+ perfect this morning. Couldn't have been any better.

I've been so calm this whole time. So when I was seized with panic when we pulled into the parking lot, I didn't know what to do! I somehow held it together until time to go. When the NP walked in, I immediately started crying. When she put the wand in, she the first thing she said was uh oh. She very quickly caught herself and explained that the progesterone had clouded the ultrasound (because I'm stupid and forgot to wait until after). Once she got the wand cleaned off everything was fine. Max saw the heartbeat right away. I forgot to wear my glasses so they had to point it out to me.

According to my LMP I should be 6w4d. But before she even started she offered some commentary on my file that we were a few days later than normal on my trigger and IUI so it was possible to actually be a few days behind that. I'm glad she said that before we even started. The baby is measuring exactly 6 weeks and the sac is 6w1d. My biggest relief came with the sac size since that was the initial problem last time. If I'm being honest, this is giving me a bit of worry, but I have to trust her that it's ok. All we can do is wait for what comes next.

So thankful to be where I am. Max and I could not stop smiling this morning. But of course, I'm always thinking of so many of you in this community who are experiencing heartbreak right now. It really is unbelievable the range of emotions when I scroll though my reader. I would give anything to make it only happy news. So, if you're on the bad news side right now, know that I think of you every day and carry your dreams around with mine.

Monday, June 11, 2012

checking in

No news is good news, right? Things are moving along over here. 6w3d today. Ultrasound tomorrow. Feeling super calm, but super nervous at the same time.

Let's do a little symptom check:

Energy: none. Seriously. It's ridiculous.

Boobs: hurt so bad sometimes. Other times, not bad at all.

Nausea: comes and goes. I've had some days where it lasted all day. Some days where I may have only felt it here and there. This weekend I was up moving around a lot packing and it would hit in pretty strong waves.

Food aversion: yogurt and this amazing broccoli cheese casserole we serve at the orientation program I work for. Bummer on that one, as I only get it during the summer.

Overall, not too shabby. I'm grateful for the symptoms to be honest.

I will update in Wednesday. With good news hopefully.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

beta #3

Man, it's been a long week waiting for this beta.

hCG is 2225.6 and progesterone is 46.2. Pretty sure I'm happy with those. The nurse said they were beautiful.

Of course, I committed the cardinal sin and googled 5w4d hcg. That was dumb. I should never do that!! I know that's within normal range. Doubling time of 52.1. Well within normal.

But G.oogle, I don't know how to quit you!

The first ultrasound is scheduled for next Wednesday morning. My goodness do I pray there is a baby with a heartbeat ready to be seen!