This journey is all about disappointment.
Every time hope is renewed, we think about new milestones, new goals. And then we're disappointed. When the iui was negative, it meant no 2012 baby. Waiting for our cd3 ultrasound on Friday, max tried to cheer me up talking about maybe having the first baby of 2013. And then the baby's bday would be January, Max's would be February and mine March. How neat, right?
Until we found a 4 cm cyst on my right ovary. No iui this month. We can still try naturally, but nothing with drugs. Rage.
I know it's just waiting a month, but a month feels like a lifetime. And work is about to get unbelievably busy. The thought of doing all of these appts around my work schedule during June and July is completely overwhelming.
But it is what it is. Maybe our bodies will come through for us on their own this month. Hope is all there is.
Hattie, I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteOh, I am so so sorry you are going through this. There have been times that I have woken up, counting down the hours until it is time to go to sleep again so another day will pass. Thinking of you...
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about the cyst. I can relate to being geared up for a cycle only to have it cancelled. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Hattie. I remember the news of getting a cyst and it was devastating. You get your hopes up and then it all comes crashing down.
ReplyDeleteBe kind to yourself and know I'm thinking of you. Sending love.
Life of an IFer is such a roller coaster. You are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I am sorry you have to go through this. I have the same fears about all my embryos arresting and my having to cancel this cycle and start over.
ReplyDeleteI wish you luck in getting rid of that thing! Mine went away after I had it treated by acupuncture...maybe you could speed the process that way.